The Garden

The garden is growing
It’s taking over the yard
When I take care of it
it always works me hard
The lawn is now filled
with flowering weeds
At least six feet in height
Creeping ivy and clematis’
stop the windows from opening
and block out all the light
The trees have dropped seeds
that grew into trees
That dropped more seeds
and grew more trees
In which nest
thousands of birds
and millions of bees
I can’t see the clouds
nor the sky for the trees
I can’t hear a thing
except for the birds in the trees
and the buzzing of bees
The garden has taken control
of the house and my life
There’s no path or walkway
No way in or out
Hidden by the foliage
Camouflaged from life
The background is the foreground
As the front yard is the back
A world within the world
Living a world apart
Separated by a crack
Free to go at any time
But trapped inside
the choice was mine
I’ve tried to leave
to ride away
Like a drop of rain rides the river
But when this drop of rain
completes the course
It will have meandered back
to its source
No matter how far
I seem to roam
The garden manages to beckon me
back home
The garden is taking over
It may look overgrown
or like it’s taken over the yard
and my home
But when I take care of it
it always works me hard.

I hate pain for what it makes me,
Takes away the smiles and makes people hate me,
I'm not a grumpy or miserable guy,
Imagine smiling all the time
while inside you cry,
I hate pain for what it makes me!

Changing

Once it’s said it’s much too late
Hurt feelings don’t hesitate
The rush in like so many times before
Reciprocation leaves you broken, on the floor.
Things said with no thought or concern,
Slow this time, there’s much to learn,
Remember what happens when there’s anger in your head,
Forget competition or what some else said.
Look deep inside yourself, the answers lies there,
A fit of anger becomes a moment of care,
You’ve been here before, go back in your mind,
Don’t lash out or retaliate, say something kind,
You can change today; it’s not too late!

At Times

At times it oozes slowly
and at times it just pours out
At times I speak softly
and at times I just shout
at times I speak from a tense mouth
my lips begin to pout
at times I wish that I could speak
but the words just won’t come out
at times it seems to fit right in
even after I’ve just pulled it out
At times it will not return to where it came from
my own beastly snout!

Silence

Silence is golden
Yes it's true
But words,
the right words
Can be the same too
Silence can just as easily
make you blue
Especially if it follows
I love you
To say words,
the right words
Can be hard to do
But after the silence
Those words
will come to you
At times it's best
to bite your tongue
When words fly out
like bullets from a gun
Can the pain be undone
The simplest of words
can hurt so much
Somethings are simply
too hot to touch
Silence is golden
Yes it's true...

I love you

Self Confidence

I am weary
The weariest of weary
Your kiss is warm
and sweet
My tears go dry
I can be happy
If I try
I throw my inhibitions
at you
I can be sad
Sometimes without
a reason and I don't know why
I am glad I have you
at least
I am weary
I feel weak
I am the weariest of weary
The weakest of weak
There is so much about me
that's good
I just can't tell you what they are
Even if I could
I don't know how take a compliment
Never could
I believe in doing good
In fact the best
At everything that I do
Forgetting about all the rest
I can be so many things
Some I've been for far too long
And there's the things that I have been
I wish would have stayed
longer than the song
I am weary
I feel lost
Living, loving
At such a cost
It takes it's toll
God I'm weary
I feel so old
My body aches
and my feet are cold
I sit and think sometimes
until I cry
I sit and think sometimes
and I don't know why
Your kiss is warm
and sweet
and once again
my tears go dry

I'd have no life,
If it weren't for my wife
She steers me straight
Be it forward or reverse
She's the one who turns
The one who turned me
Into who I am
I can't refute it
Or dispute it
The simple truth is
All that's good in me
All that's righteous
Respectful and cautious
All that is good in me
Is now up to and because of
My wife
To this point I have been good
But far too often less than I could
And or should
It's not that I don't know better
I learn pretty fast
And I'm no bed wetter
I was taught by the best
I was taught not to quit
Yet often I did
I was to be nice and to care
Not only what others think
But what they feel
Yet I've hurt so many
To many to count
I was told to have conscience
And I do
It eats away at me
Every single day
I have learned that
For everything you do
There's a price to pay
And sometimes
Pay and pay
I've never killed anyone
Although I probably could
I've never maimed anyone
Killing would be easier
I know that I've hurt someone
And they know who they are
If I could take back all the hurt
Take back all the pain
Take it all back
Start over again
Not in this lifetime
That's' why we have pain
First my Mom
Then Oma
And now my wife
The most influential
Where the sense of reason
The sense of fair play
And honesty came from
My emotions at times rush in
And from all directions
I feel what people feel
I feel pain and suffering
I feel anger and embarrassment
I feel pleasure and deceit
I pay for sin
Put you hand out
Reach deep within
Pull out what you can
Keep it for yourself
From me
It's all I have to give
For now...

Thought # 310

Which way do you roll
What’s the right way to roll
When you’re pushed
Do you roll
Do you move at all
Roll to the left or to the right
Forward roll or do you roll back
Do you move at all
Which way do you roll
Mirror mirror on the wall
What is it you see for me
What am I to be or not to be
What does the future hold for me
Should I stay right here
Or should I disappear
Do I see me
When I look in you
Or is it you
Looking back at me

Dorian’s Mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall
What is it you see for me
What am I to be or not to be
What does the future hold for me
The things I see
The things I feel
I often wonder are they real
Are the things you say
The things you feel
If not
Then what is real
Is this a dream
Or somewhere in between
The life I live
Is it mine to use
To give
If so when do I lose control
Because I feel I’m losing control
If it’s mine
For how long
How will it end
Will it end like a song
Or skip like a record
On and on…