Life as it is

I'd have no life,
If it weren't for my wife
She steers me straight
Be it forward or reverse
She's the one who turns
The one who turned me
Into who I am
I can't refute it
Or dispute it
The simple truth is
All that's good in me
All that's righteous
Respectful and cautious
All that is good in me
Is now up to and because of
My wife
To this point I have been good
But far too often less than I could
And or should
It's not that I don't know better
I learn pretty fast
And I'm no bed wetter
I was taught by the best
I was taught not to quit
Yet often I did
I was to be nice and to care
Not only what others think
But what they feel
Yet I've hurt so many
To many to count
I was told to have conscience
And I do
It eats away at me
Every single day
I have learned that
For everything you do
There's a price to pay
And sometimes
Pay and pay
I've never killed anyone
Although I probably could
I've never maimed anyone
Killing would be easier
I know that I've hurt someone
And they know who they are
If I could take back all the hurt
Take back all the pain
Take it all back
Start over again
Not in this lifetime
That's' why we have pain
First my Mom
Then Oma
And now my wife
The most influential
Where the sense of reason
The sense of fair play
And honesty came from
My emotions at times rush in
And from all directions
I feel what people feel
I feel pain and suffering
I feel anger and embarrassment
I feel pleasure and deceit
I pay for sin
Put you hand out
Reach deep within
Pull out what you can
Keep it for yourself
From me
It's all I have to give
For now...