Life between us

Oh how I hate her
if she only knew
She's the mother of insanity
I wish it weren't true
She drives the wind
and pours the rain
She shines the sun
and glows the moon
then shines the sun again
Oh how I despise her
if she only knew
I have no choice
In every morn
I rise for her
And every night
she knocks me down
It doesn't matter
who is near
It's of no concern
to her I fear
Oh how she makes me do
whatever she wants me to
Bending but never breaking me
in two
Twisting me
Pulling me
from all sides at once
Oh how I've cried
and cried
and tried
to no avail
and all my efforts fail
I wish I knew
what it is she wants
what she needs from me
she helps herself
I give all I can
But I am just one man
her hunger exceeds me
her thirst drains me
I'm doing what I can
God how I hate this
this I'm sure she knows
like the snow storm
on my wedding day
and when she rains
on all my new clothes
I don't know why
or when
But I remember
day back then
When it seemed to me
that I was free
Why can't it be
why won't she
let me
die happy.

Close my eyes
relax
and think of nothing
forget about the world
tonight
shut my eyes tight
everything
has to be right
has to be alright
it'll be alright
without me tonight
let me lie in peace
tonight
close my eyes
relax
forget about the world
tonight
shut my eyes tight
everyone has someone
to be with
tonight
they'll be alright
they'll have to be
alright
tonight
without me
tonight
let me lie in peace
but here we go
around for one more time.

Who am I
but you
a different face
perhaps
who are you
but him
who's just like me
through the thin
and thick of it all
can't you see
we're the same inside
although we try hard
to hide
the things that make us
alike
who are you
but me
a different face
perhaps
who am I
but her
who's just like you
believe it
it's true
I am me and you are you
but we are all alike
for who are we but us
and they are them
the only difference is
the space
the life between us.

The inside

Life! Ha!
None of it really
matters much to me
It hurts like hell that's for sure
but what I will say is this
that my life is just that way
riding high all the time
on a suicide drive-by
every day
My mind's a mess
My heart's fucked up
The harder I try to
to get my shit together
I more I hear
the same old words again
I can't believe it
I can't believe my ears
Makes me wanna quit
quit it all
everyone and everything.

What I have got
If I don't have love
I close my eyes and sleep
won't come
The dreams that you have
are nightmares to me
My fears chase me
into the night
I feel alone with you
right there beside me
I feel dark and cold
I feel old
There's so much I need
to do yet
There's so much I need
to say yet
There's so much I need
to love yet
Don't take my love away.

Spinning in a funnel
unable to grab hold
a downward spiral
I feel cold
Unable to grab hold
sometimes the end
looks better
even better than
starting over again
Perhaps it's wrong to feel
this way
but my opinion is all
I have today
It matter so much
to me today
The hurt cut so deep
there's no blood
Take to corpse away.

Another heart torn out
another death by love today
I could care
but I don't
Crack a nut
you break the shell
I'm about the inside
I am the inside
This shell you see
is not me
I'm not this, that, these or those
I'm about the inside
I'm about what I chose.

The Garden

The garden is growing
It’s taking over the yard
When I take care of it
it always works me hard
The lawn is now filled
with flowering weeds
At least six feet in height
Creeping ivy and clematis’
stop the windows from opening
and block out all the light
The trees have dropped seeds
that grew into trees
That dropped more seeds
and grew more trees
In which nest
thousands of birds
and millions of bees
I can’t see the clouds
nor the sky for the trees
I can’t hear a thing
except for the birds in the trees
and the buzzing of bees
The garden has taken control
of the house and my life
There’s no path or walkway
No way in or out
Hidden by the foliage
Camouflaged from life
The background is the foreground
As the front yard is the back
A world within the world
Living a world apart
Separated by a crack
Free to go at any time
But trapped inside
the choice was mine
I’ve tried to leave
to ride away
Like a drop of rain rides the river
But when this drop of rain
completes the course
It will have meandered back
to its source
No matter how far
I seem to roam
The garden manages to beckon me
back home
The garden is taking over
It may look overgrown
or like it’s taken over the yard
and my home
But when I take care of it
it always works me hard.

Changing

Once it’s said it’s much too late
Hurt feelings don’t hesitate
The rush in like so many times before
Reciprocation leaves you broken, on the floor.
Things said with no thought or concern,
Slow this time, there’s much to learn,
Remember what happens when there’s anger in your head,
Forget competition or what some else said.
Look deep inside yourself, the answers lies there,
A fit of anger becomes a moment of care,
You’ve been here before, go back in your mind,
Don’t lash out or retaliate, say something kind,
You can change today; it’s not too late!