The inside

Life! Ha!
None of it really
matters much to me
It hurts like hell that's for sure
but what I will say is this
that my life is just that way
riding high all the time
on a suicide drive-by
every day
My mind's a mess
My heart's fucked up
The harder I try to
to get my shit together
I more I hear
the same old words again
I can't believe it
I can't believe my ears
Makes me wanna quit
quit it all
everyone and everything.

What I have got
If I don't have love
I close my eyes and sleep
won't come
The dreams that you have
are nightmares to me
My fears chase me
into the night
I feel alone with you
right there beside me
I feel dark and cold
I feel old
There's so much I need
to do yet
There's so much I need
to say yet
There's so much I need
to love yet
Don't take my love away.

Spinning in a funnel
unable to grab hold
a downward spiral
I feel cold
Unable to grab hold
sometimes the end
looks better
even better than
starting over again
Perhaps it's wrong to feel
this way
but my opinion is all
I have today
It matter so much
to me today
The hurt cut so deep
there's no blood
Take to corpse away.

Another heart torn out
another death by love today
I could care
but I don't
Crack a nut
you break the shell
I'm about the inside
I am the inside
This shell you see
is not me
I'm not this, that, these or those
I'm about the inside
I'm about what I chose.

Stay in bed

The sun doesn’t seem as bright
Something’s not quite right
I can’t find anything to talk about
The words are there but won’t come out
There’s a thought inside my head
But there’s nothing left to be said
Today
I think I’ll stay in bed
Today
I think I’ll stay in bed
I’m not sick
I feel okay
I’m just not sure the car
Will start today
My boots would walk if
I took out the lead
But, to be perfectly honest
Today
I think I’ll stay I in bed
The phone is ringing constantly
It’s just another day to me
Nothing good is ever said
Today
I think I’ll stay in bed.

The key

Not sure where I've been
Beyond within
I have been there before
I think
Though I can never
remember the way there
It's best not to try
just let it be
It's great
You'll see
Not sure where I've been
Beyond within
I've been dead
perhaps that's the key
allowing me
Beyond within