The inside

Life! Ha!
None of it really
matters much to me
It hurts like hell that's for sure
but what I will say is this
that my life is just that way
riding high all the time
on a suicide drive-by
every day
My mind's a mess
My heart's fucked up
The harder I try to
to get my shit together
I more I hear
the same old words again
I can't believe it
I can't believe my ears
Makes me wanna quit
quit it all
everyone and everything.

What I have got
If I don't have love
I close my eyes and sleep
won't come
The dreams that you have
are nightmares to me
My fears chase me
into the night
I feel alone with you
right there beside me
I feel dark and cold
I feel old
There's so much I need
to do yet
There's so much I need
to say yet
There's so much I need
to love yet
Don't take my love away.

Spinning in a funnel
unable to grab hold
a downward spiral
I feel cold
Unable to grab hold
sometimes the end
looks better
even better than
starting over again
Perhaps it's wrong to feel
this way
but my opinion is all
I have today
It matter so much
to me today
The hurt cut so deep
there's no blood
Take to corpse away.

Another heart torn out
another death by love today
I could care
but I don't
Crack a nut
you break the shell
I'm about the inside
I am the inside
This shell you see
is not me
I'm not this, that, these or those
I'm about the inside
I'm about what I chose.