Thoughts of war

I remember
potato peel soup
tin can porridge
each morning you forage
you do what it takes
you eat what it makes
to survive
bones and marrow
salt is gold
water wine
life inside
is fine
life in a bunker
for a time
sunshine
when you can
when you can go out
life outside
is fearful
life outside the bunker
is loud
smells of decay
and sadness
nothing is the same
no one remains
scurrying like rats
among the rats
gathering with fear
whatever it takes
to survive
taking, wearing
dead men's clothes
and shoes
air raid drills
the daily news
how many more dead
the thick damp
musty air
in the bunker
a baby's first breath
of air
in there
iodine and cigarettes
cleanse and cauterize
shoe polish in the still
methanol on my breath
infection is death.

I was afraid
to venture past
the sand bags and
abandoned machine gun nests
I managed to once
I was frozen in my steps
there were ten
no twenty
there had to be a hundred
dead bodies
in various forms
decomposition
filled the air
grabbed my guts
I couldn't tell which side
any of them were from
as my guts burned
I puked until bile bleed
out from my eyes
at the horrible sight before me
that had me totally
unable to do anything but
puke and cry
puke and cry
feverish, blisters,
festering wounds
the stench
from the trench
where the dead lay
dear God
help me erase that day
make it through today.

One other day found me
searching for water
a canteen
I had seen
my luck
would find me
in place I'd never been
ankle deep in mud
and blood
rats were everywhere
there was so much blood
you could smell it's
sweet metallic odour
rats scurrying
gnawing, eating the dead
eating the dead!
I spotted three of them
huddled together
two were faceless
mortar shell I assumed
the third a young boy
no more than 19
I took his canteen
and then removed another
from the first faceless ones
severed arm
retrieving the third one
out of the red mud
I thanked them as I left
I had water
at least till tomorrow.

The slow winding sound
of the air raid siren
breaking through the air
again and then
whistling of bombs
and more bombs
falling from above
we all begin
the routine run
back into the bunkers
the ground shaking
earthquaking all around
machine gun fire
pecking through the air
like woodpeckers
the shouts of soldiers
attacking, running
lying, dying
people screaming
racing, pushing
and shoving
fear has children
pushed and left
as equal
they're shopping
for their life
and nothing, no one
can stop them
as they trample each other
stampede like wild animals
to be safe, perhaps.
When the door closes
the sound of bombs
and more bombs cover
the sounds of terror
sounds of abandonment
the sounds of death
Each time the door closes
is not without cost
new friends made
and old friends lost.

The streets are quiet
the dying are dead
children playing run over
under, around the rubble
without a care
the only know one thing
they only know to play
they only know war
the dead are part
of their environment
their neighbourhood
a graveyard
where friends and neighbours
lay and play

where a stone is the world

one child is all children
what will they bring
or take from this place
anger, hatred and guns
living in the danger zone

this war is all wars
introspective remembrance
numbs the mind
silences the tongue
blinds the eyes
witnessed the execution of
a priest and seven nuns
how can this be war
this makes no sense
killing innocents
the scars are deep
and for years
they will keep
the secret inside
deeply darkened
sad faces...

take my hand and we

will find a new home

a fresh start....

war pictures thanks to Illustrated History : Relive the times
http://incredibleimages4u.blogspot.com/

Grave Conversation

The flowers stopped growing one day
in mid bloom in the month of May
Seems the whole world stood still that day
When the Lord came and took you away
The flowers since have grown and died
I count the days by how often I've cried
I still can't believe it deep down inside
you're gone I know even though I tried
to hope and pray you back each and every day
and I just wanted to say
that I miss you so very much.


Don't stand weeping at my grave
Don't waste your tears on me there
I have gone and have been long gone
I have been everywhere
On the breath of the winds that blow
In the rain that falls from above
and snow that covers the ground
I'm in the bright sun's rays
on every summer day
I'm in the crispness of autumn
and the clouds that push the sun away
I'm in warmth of the morning light
I've soared high with birds in flight
Don't stand at my grave and cry
Don't waste your tears on me
For I did not die.

Thought # 101

Life is useless from beginning to end
With spasms of pain it begins
With pain and spasms it ends
Nothing more than a hot flash in a cold pan
Life is useless from beginning to end.

Let us save our breath
For what is breath after all
But the beginning and end
For breath delivers our words
Be they kind or not so
From here I have watched you
As you walked along
The side of the street
Where the light slices
Into the darkness
Silence follows you
Everything else is left behind
Your voices echoes
Your promise is a song
Your memory is sad.

Thin

I used to be thin
Thin skinned
Thin stature
Shallow minded
Quick to lash out
Quicker to blame
It was easy to be unkind
To be in control
At least that’s what I thought
Yet eaten by guilt
Lost and distraught
Varsol to paint
Tears to love
Alienation
Subjectiveness
Persecution
Demanding and
Notwithstanding
The control
I thought I had
Time connects
Wounds
As it slowly passes
Soon numbness
Followed by dumbness
Becomes me
And then you
Somehow I feel
Quiet now
I feel like glue
Thick and slow
Bonding to you
The feeling I hope
Has transcended
The thin within me
Is now thick because of you
To live a day without you
Is something I have yet to do
And until that day arrives
Let this glueleg
Stay and stick in love with you
Somehow you have managed
To change me
My heart and my soul
Your presence it calms me
When I need it most
A million dollar prize
The finest slice
A million miles walked
A language outspoken
And so much more
The rubber is connecting
Its tight band retracts
It draws near to me
A twinkle; a spark
My fluttering heart
Pounds deep inside me
It rumbles
It rolls and
It rubs me the right way
I am complete
Yet empty
Completely empty
I suppose.

In passing

The girl who once passed me in the hall
The first time we passed
Was at school in the hall
You didn’t know me or see me
And I was not aware of you at all

Perhaps had we met then
Things would not be the same
The dating, the loving
Then you taking my name

Though I’d never go back
For fear of the refrain
Of our love
But I’m curious just the same

If time were turned back
And we passed in the hall
Would we stop and talk
Would we fall in love in the hall

Would we notice each other at all
Or would we both smile
And keep walking
Totally missing the call

Oh love in the wings
One life’s greatest things
For since I first met you
I’ve been unable to forget you
The girl who once passed me in the hall