Snapshot of Myself

As I look down I see myself,
a tattered, wrinkled, abused
pile of young bones
A voice echoes softly though the PCP fog in the room
A strong weathered figure urgently beckons to me
Although already slowly in an upward drift; my momentum halts
Soft words call out and tug gently on the anchor of my soul
My direction changes
Back down through the floorboards and the ceiling above
The light of my existence had almost extinguished itself it seems
I feel a flicker and my mind begins to unbend
A warmth, a rekindling from within
The drowsy numbness of narcotics still in my brain
They say only the good die young
Well, I would have made a lovely corpse
But then I then I thank Oma for this snapshot of myself
And the chance to live again.

STAY

White on white and a touch of gray
Is how I saw you as you lay
In depression and selfish anger
in hospital that day.
I don’t ever remember seeing you like this
As I leaned in close and gave you a kiss
It’s moments like this
And you back at home that I’ll miss
A twinkle in your eyes and a faint smile on your lips
the gentle healing touch of your fingertips.
Your soothing words calmed me when I cried
when I was lost you were my guide.
It hurts to sit here now and listen to you saying
all those things you wish would happen to you
every night as you are praying.
I wish I could turn back the hands of time
I’d take you back to banks of the Rhine
A perfect place
A better time
Although you’ve given all that you can for me
there’s one one more thing I’d like
and it won’t come easily.
For you to gather your strength and energy
To fight and win as best you can,
please stay,
please,
do it for me.

this was a time when Oma was very sick, and the cancer was slowly gaining. She was at home with us and she kept wanting the pain to end. She used to pray to God to take her, she wanted to die. Very sad times but wonderful times at once. I love you Oma and apologize for wanting you to stay but I truly didn't realize that you had a say in it as well. God Bless and rest in peace.

Stay

White on white and a touch of gray
Is how I saw you as you lay
In depression and selfish anger
in hospital that day.
I don’t ever remember seeing you like this
As I leaned in close and gave you a kiss
It’s moments like this
And you back at home that I’ll miss
A twinkle in your eyes and a faint smile on your lips
the gentle healing touch of your fingertips.
Your soothing words calmed me when I cried
when I was lost you were my guide.
It hurts to sit here now and listen to you saying
all those things you wish would happen to you
every night as you are praying.
I wish I could turn back the hands of time
I’d take you back to banks of the Rhine
A perfect place
A better time
Although you’ve given all that you can for me
there’s one one more thing I’d like
and it won’t come easily.
For you to gather your strength and energy
To fight and win as best you can,
please stay,
please,
do it for me.